A heartbreaking sale of stagnant genius

McSweeneys is holding an auction to help offset recent losses.

On the auction block:

• a childlike sense of wonder in the world and a belief that amusement is the invisible force behind everything
  
• a strong dislike of cruelty, parochialism, and ickiness
• an unshakeable faith in the super-duper-extraordinary power of hyperbole
• a lock of Susan Sontag's hair
  
• A KISS pinball machine

And, of course:

• a million hearts, huge and wide open (unless you're one of those tacky asshole reviewers)