Saturday, September 15, 2007

Billion dollar babies

In the bathroom of a bar on Bloor St., I saw an ad for – I think – the Woodbine racetrack and casino. It depicts a yuppie-looking guy in a suit jumping up and down for joy; in the foreground is a woman's hand holding a pregnancy test showing negative.

The tagline is something like, "It feels as good as this."

At the risk of sounding schmaltzy and/or defensive, when I think about my kids, I always assume I'm the one who won the jackpot. (Aaawwwww...)

(Actually, the real winner was the woman with the pregnancy test – she narrowly missed getting stuck with a real shithead. Fuck more wisely next time, my dear.)

ADDED: Speaking of children, the new Harry Potter movie is pretty good. No, really – it is. It a little draggy, and the entire story could have been told in 1/3 of the time (basically, Voldemort is gathering his army... still gathering... wait for it...), but it was one of the first Potters that held together as an actual movie. Certainly a hell of a lot better than the molasses-paced book, in which Rowling started to think of herself as, as one wag put it, "Melville for pre-teens." Obviously, it helps to watch it with a member of the target audience and on the IMAX screen, but still.

The newest additions to the "slumming respected English actor" league in this one are Imelda Staunton, who does a great job with what she's got, and Helena Bonham Carter, who just sneers and looks crazy for the 5 minutes she's onscreen. Most of the rest just stand around and look serious. Sadly, David Thewlis has about one line in the entire thing. I still keep waiting for Thewlis to break down and start ranting at Potter about the Book of Revelations.

By the way, I'm reviewing Thewlis's first novel for the Toronto Star soon. Keep watching the skies!

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