Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Knobjet trouvé

There is no possible way for this article to end well, given how it begins:
When writer Sheila Heti received a photo of a white porcelain shoe – adorned with painted roses and the words “Cape Cod” in gold script – she had no idea who had possessed the tacky tchotchke before it was relegated to a thrift-store shelf.

“Probably a fancy lady who had a fireplace and some lace?” she ventures with a giggle.

But just because the shoe had no official history didn't mean Heti couldn't make one up. Last week, she posted a story about its (purely fictional) significance along with the knick-knack on eBay – one of dozens of items being auctioned off as part of an art experiment dubbed Significant Objects.

I don't think those knick-knacks are the only things with purely fictional significance here...


ADDED: I could probably go on a rant about the teeth-grinding sense of cultural entitlement inherent in an "art experiment" that involves embroidering random objects with clever, vaguely patronizing narratives for the amusement of a small group of foppish lovelies, but then I'd have to remember that I write literary fiction and, well, glass houses and all...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

...hey i know...why not spew envious invective at kids having fun and maybe someone will notice your own teeth-grinding obscurity ; )

Sven

nathan said...

"And I would have got away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddlesome kids!"

"Hey gang, now that it's safe to use the internet again, let's have a facebook party!"

"Ra-hooOOOOO!"

"You said it, Scoob!"

Anonymous said...

...speaking of emerging writers...you should come out from under that bridge sometime...there's a great world out here ; )

nathan said...

Oh dear, an anonymous commenter making ad hominem attacks is calling me a troll...

Not sure what's worse: the complete lack of self-awareness, or the use of emoticons.

Oh well, if it makes you feel better, Anonymous/Sven, I weigh 450 pounds, smell bad, am perpetually broke, never make it with the ladies, and spend all day cursing all the things I secretly envy but which my lack of a trust fund is preventing me from enjoying for myself. (I also masturbate into a diaper.)

Feel better?

Now who wants smores?

Anonymous said...

...wasn't ad hominem...direct reference to the content and perceived tone of your post...nice haircut :p

nathan said...

Oh Anonymous, you are sweet.

And you use those ellipses with such... abandon.

(See, I am stuck using them only when appropriate.)


{:<

(That's me with a monobrow and a frown, cuz you hurt my bald-troll feelings.)

Anonymous said...

...all right, let's shake hands then...i don't think i could take another week of this ; )

nathan said...

I realize now I was outclassed all along – I bow to your singular wit.

wasteddaysandwastednights said...

...okay whitlock...i'm stepping out of the shadows...part way...calling in the troops...up for a little foppish fun?

nathan said...

*crickets*

Listen, this has been fun and all, but I don't think your mom will be all that crazy about you turning the basement rec room into a wrestling ring.

So we should just call it.